Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
