I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
