So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
