Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
