He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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