Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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