For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
