Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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