I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
