Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
COCAINE IS GR8
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
