i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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