Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
