Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
