I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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