I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
do herpes really smell.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
