I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
