dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
