i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Is it because I queefed?
you didnt know i had herpes?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
