You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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