I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
