Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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