We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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