I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
