is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
