Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Plan B is the new Plan A
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
