Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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