You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
