how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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