Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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