I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
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I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
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She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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