This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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