Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize