I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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