I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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