There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
