Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
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I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
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I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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