You're completely useless in the revolution.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
