Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
