When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
