It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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