Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
