That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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