I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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