i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
