I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
