Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
