Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
pop tarts are not kleenex
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize