I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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