would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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