Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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