The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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