Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
