Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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