so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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