Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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