just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
