there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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