what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
