The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
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Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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