He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize